My sunshine is returning on Sunday from the grim and desperate Colonies; expect a week of hearts, flowers and kittens...


...or skulls, bosoms and chainsaws.


Either or.

The Saw is Family

This bad boy is another whole-stitches-and backstitch special; 10 high by 40 wide.

One more post before next week's big announcement, when I will finally reveal my sinister design(s)...

An Improving Motto...

Good heavens! Something that's not about death! Fancy that...

Including the border, 28 whole stitches high and 29 whole stitches wide. The chart is in imperial purple, but you can, of course, choose your own colour scheme; perhaps a dark green on white fabric, or red thread against one of those 'natural' brownish linen fabrics.

Since all my readers are thoroughly versed in philosophy, you will already know that this is a quote from Rene Descartes; in translation, it means: "I think, therefore I am".

For those whose education has a few Cartesian-shaped gaps in it, may I present in the spirit of Enlightenment this free lecture from the Philosophy Department, University of Wooloomooloo. Take it away Bruces:

Pierrepoint's Old Friend...

Although I suppose you can think of it as a lasso, if it makes you feel better.

Whole stitches and backstitch outlines: 18 stitches high and 7 wide.

Only a few more of these; I promise you, gentle readers, you'll be the first to see the finished piece.

Elizabeth Taylor's Poison...

Or Crippen's, if you prefer.

Two colourways; green and blue:



16 Whole Stitches high and 7 wide, with backstitch for the outlining.

"Why, Dear Miss Impostor, are all the charts so...morbid?" I hear you whimper. Patience, good needlewomen, patience; they're part of a larger project. Wait and see...all will be revealed in time.

Duelling Pistols

Yes, technically I suppose they ARE automatics, rather than pistols...

Whole stitches and a bit of backstitch: each individual gun is 6 high and 8 wide; adjust the space between them if you want to add a name, or motif.


For the more pacifist/pranksterish:


Whole stitches and a bit of backstitch: 6 high and 18 wide.

Details at this scale are hard without fractionals; I warn you, gentle readers, I may have to succumb to the lure of the three-quarter stitch soon...

...And Soap

Another whole-stitches-and-a-bit-of-backstitch job; 13 high by 26 wide. Backstitch around the letters if you want them to have a little more depth. The green colour makes me think of bars of Palmolive, but a pastel, cream or even white would work just as well.

And why is it Soap? Old Costello fans FTW: