To assist me with my 'busy' 'lifestyle', I have employed an assistant:

This is Lucille; she will be dealing with various vital administrative tasks such as: chasing moths, staring at the wall, and sleeping on my pattern pieces.  

I've also taken advantage of her extensive experience at having a fight with bubble-wrap, and running away from the postman, to put her in charge of the Impostor's Needle post and packing department; she will be dealing with all despatch and delivery queries and processes, with the exception of actually posting anything (since she's not allowed out to go to the postbox, and most parcels are too heavy for her anyway) and wrapping parcels (as the sellotape tends to get fuzzed up with paw fur).